BP 248
“Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me” ~ Psalm 139:7-10
(Certainly, the Old Testament prophet, Jonah, knew the truth of these words!)
We have been created to live in God’s presence, to know that He is there with us, that He will hold us with His right hand. But humans have a problem.
Psychologically, what is the problem with people?
Mental illness, all of which is a result of the terrible fall that broke everything, is our problem. Separation from God (and others and our own selves) is the problem. Depression, anxiety, eating disorders, schizophrenia (both flowing from nature and nurture), personality disorders, trichotillomania, paranoia—all are a result of separation from the presence of God and others whose love we need to live life instead of simply to drift through life as inanimate objects anchored to nothing and no one.
Spiritually, what is the problem with people?
An impenetrable curtain has tragically towered up between us and our Creator, a curtain woven with threads of our sin and rebellion and God’s awesome holiness. This curtain separates us from God until we access the grace that has penetrated the curtain, that has torn it asunder. Once again, separation is the problem.
Relationally, what is the problem with people?
The problem is rage, hatred, alienation, enmity, bitterness, resentment, unforgiveness, blaming, shaming, despising others, building walls and not bridges. We struggle so mightily to be close to others, but we are so prone to separate from each other. We are so easily offended and react by cutting people off who we believe have harmed us when all they have done is hurt us or maybe even simply inconvenienced us. We are so adept at projecting our shortcomings into people around us and then condemning them instead of the evil in us. We have been sinned against and then we sin against those who have sinned against us. We keep a record of wrongs instead of forgiving each other.
Finally, there is something amiss with our affections.
We humans often prefer something instead of someone. Why? Because something is more comfortable, easier, we probably won’t get emotionally hurt, and it requires less of us.
Retail therapy, vacations, fine food, spectating sports, playing sports and board games, experiencing chemical highs from social media stimulation and pornography, numbing out on endless TV series, being addicted to the gratification of work, imbibing alcohol that creates a pleasurable buzz in us, even escaping into intellectual pursuits that take us away from human intimacy—these all feel good even though they leave us empty when the fleeting high has faded in the rearview mirror.
If we commit ourselves to someone, even Jesus, we must be all in to make the relationship worth keeping. We must make time for someone, learn to listen, navigate what to do when the other person hurts or offends us, work at giving instead of getting. Looking at relationships from a high level, we must learn how to move toward someone instead of moving away from, moving against, or sitting in apathy and settling for something instead.
Simply said, this world is all about relationships—spiritual and emotional intimacy and closeness. It’s about loving others and loving ourselves. But how do we do the impossible? How do we do relationships in a healthy manner when we are so wired to be treated right instead of to serve someone else, when we are so contractually driven—you do your part and then I’ll do mine—instead of “covenantally” motivated—I will do my part even if you don’t do your part.
A reason to do relationships is that we’re all going to die. We cannot hold onto material things when we leave this world. We were not created to hold onto things. We were made to love people and hold onto them. So, get good at doing relationships. Grow in your ability to trust and move toward others by running to the relational God first. People are the only things you can take with you past the grave.
Going back to psychology, why do we need counseling and therapy on this planet? Two reasons (at a minimum). First, something is wrong with us. We are in pain and struggle to function well inside ourselves as well as with others in the outside world. Second, we need therapy because we know something is wrong inside of us. We somehow know that depression, anxiety, EDs, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and all other mental illnesses are not “normal.”
I say “we somehow know” because if we are in this universe due to blind happenstance, here by accident and alone in the universe with absolutely no divine presence, how would we even know that mental illness is not normal? Why would we seek to get better?
God is the standard of what is true and normal. If He didn’t exist, we would not even know that there is something wrong because there would be no standard of health. We wouldn’t pursue therapy because our suffering would be normal since we have nothing in us to tell us that we are not well.
In summary, there is something broken in us psychologically, spiritually, and relationally. We so easily turn our affections to something instead of someone. Our inherent nature is prone to separation, divorce, aloneness, distance, isolation, exile, hiding, and quick and total self-protection. In addition, the enemy of our souls is dying to drive us away from God, others and even our own hearts.
We are naturally prone to and condemned to separation.
So, what do we do?
As DTFL has reiterated throughout the years, we must begin with the Originator of Relationship and the Author of Love, namely, the Trinity—the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit who have been in intimate relationship for eternity past and eternity future. The three person God knows relationship. He is relationship. He is love. For those who come to Him, He pours His love into their hearts so that they can then go and love others the way they have been loved by Him.
Yes, it is true that some of you will need to pursue therapy with someone whom God will use to heal your deep distrust and possibly your resistance to an authority figure and maybe even your aversion to faith and Scripture because of disillusioning or hurtful experiences with a legalistic or abusive parent or a shaming church culture. Sometimes obstacles must be carefully and intentionally raised to awareness and removed before one can approach God.
The greatest news is that, amazingly and beautifully, God loved us and pursued us. He provided a way through the Curtain of Separation by sending His Son for us. Jesus’ blood and resurrected life opened the way for us to no longer be condemned to a lifetime of separation. Also, when we trust Jesus, His Spirit enters us and day by day teaches us and empowers us to trust, love, forgive, serve, and put the interests of others above our own. Here we encounter the ingredients of healthy relationship and the power to implement them into our daily lives.
We cannot love apart from Him who is love.
In the end, all our problems psychologically, spiritually, relationally, and in the domain of our affections can be healed through an ongoing relationship with the One who makes a way for us to enter the fellowship of the Triune God and enjoy presence. Some of the healing will come in this world. The rest of it will happen in the far country that is new and holy and filled with joy.
Yes, it’s all about relationship. It’s about abiding in Jesus. The goal of life is to clear all hurdles that oppose our intimacy with the heart of God the Father and the hearts of the men and women around us.
So, practice His presence. Work at abiding in Him through the body of Christ and through personal time with Him. Identify and remove every obstacle while with God alone, while with a mentor, or while you’re with a trained therapist who knows how to recognize obstacles and remove them within the context of—yes, you know—a safe relationship.
Nothing else really matters much compared to relationship. Nothing else will last. So, pursue what matters most. Pursue what matters eternally. If you don’t know how to do the journey, ask for help.
The one thing you don’t want to do is to refuse to do the journey. There’s nothing better than abiding—having someone with you in the light and in the dark of this world.
“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing . . . As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full” ~ John 15:1ff
