BP89
The nurse at the clinic roomed me in one of those small examining closets and told me that the doctor would be in to see me in a few minutes. After she left, my eyes were quickly drawn to a small monitor on the wall displaying nature videos and pictures. I watched scene after scene of colorful birds perched on snow-frosted pine trees, preening themselves in their nests, and soaring gracefully through green forests. Intermixed with the bird videos were pictures of feathery, slow shutter speed waterfalls, hiking trails meandering through thick woods, and small ponds dotted with lily pads and made golden by the glinting sun.
The visuals were very tranquil and the piano music that accompanied them was hauntingly beautiful. They accomplished their purpose. I took several deep breaths and relaxed the muscles in my neck and shoulders as I waited for the doctor (which took some time). I let myself drift more deeply into the nature scenes and listened to the mesmerizing piano. I could almost feel the mist from the waterfalls on my face.
Soon, I was no longer in the examining room but somewhere in the forest.
After a few minutes, something ugly began creeping into my pleasant reverie. I didn’t summon it. It was highly incongruent with my relaxed state. I felt an unwelcome emptiness grow inside of me until I felt hollow. What was happening?
It didn’t take me long to figure it out.
My mind had gone from simply relaxing in the beautiful forest and had begun to wonder what it would be like to walk through the woods—alone. Not just alone as in the absence of other people, but without God. I had begun to ponder how I would experience the beauty and tranquility of nature if God did not exist in the universe or dwell in my heart.
I thought about how my experience with nature would be different if I was an atheist—if I thought the forest, the birds, the waterfalls, and even me were all accidents of nature, products of blind Darwinian natural selection.
The beauty and soothing presence of the natural world decayed quickly as I thought of it all being here by blind chance—as I meditated on a universe where there was no personal God.
As the hollow sensation lingered within me, my mind jumped to Psalm 23 which I had read that morning. Set against the backdrop of the empty forest bereft of God, the opening words from the Psalm were a cup of cold water in an endless desert: The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. (Do you notice how many times the word “He” occurs, pointing to God’s intimate Presence as He leads us through the natural world).
As I continued to gaze at the images on the screen—the same woodland scenes that had suddenly degraded into emptiness—I felt the flimsy peace of a godless nature slowly replaced by the comfort of God’s Presence and the hollowness in my chest filled with the love of a personal deity. I was reminded for the ten thousandth time why Jesus Christ is the answer to human loneliness, rejection, meaninglessness, and even feelings of annihilation.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
In my work as a clinical psychologist, I have seen a consistent theme emerge, namely, there is a battle in the world between separation and union, alone-ness and with-ness, isolation and togetherness, being hidden and being seen. It has intrigued me that mental illness most often points to a disruption in union, with-ness, togetherness, seen-ness. Usually (always?) depression and anxiety are not the primary problem; rather, they are signposts pointing to the underlying problems of aloneness and separation.
In this simple but chockfull 23rd Psalm, God reassures us that in this world– in the darkest times but also in the brightest times which can feel oddly hollow–we will never be alone. He will be with us. His Presence will comfort us. This Presence is more than knowing right theology or sound doctrine. It is a personal experience of Him holding you.
Of course, the experience of God’s Presence is always opposed. As C.S. Lewis wrote, There is no neutral ground in the universe. Every square inch, every split second is claimed by God, and counterclaimed by Satan.
So, if mental illness is so often a signpost pointing to separation from Presence (I’m talking the believer’s experience here), one of the primary roles of psychology needs to be to identify and remove all obstacles that create that separation, that oppose the experience of God’s closeness which Psalm 23 speaks of.
What are some of those obstacles?
Even though I walk through the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.
One obstacle might be the fear of death which Jesus came to eradicate. Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery ~ Hebrews 2:14,15.
The phrase, shadow of death, can also refer to walking through “deep darkness,” not just death, and could include things like physical danger, emotional torture, spiritual anguish–anything that plummets us into a dark place where we are alone or that keeps us imprisoned in an experience of emptiness or aloneness.
Many clients who come to therapy are alone in deep darkness. Sometimes the aloneness is due to PTSD stemming from childhood abuse that fosters a fundamental distrust in everyone. Other times, it is emotional aloneness due to a deeply entrenched coping skill of self-protection that is practiced to a fault. Occasionally, there is a separation stemming from the existence of a false self built on perfectionism or achievement. Often, there is a fear of and subsequent distancing from God the Father due to projections from a human father or other authority figure who was shaming or unsafe.
Fortunately, Jesus came to reconcile us to the perfect Father—legally and relationally. Part of that ongoing reconciliation is to remove everything that separates us from the knowledge of God (2 Corinthians 10:5). As a believer in Jesus who happens to be a psychologist, I see every client from this perspective of removing all things that promote distance and cause aloneness. Yes, life on this planet will often be painful, hurtful, even harmful. However, we don’t want to further our suffering by being alone in it.
God Himself is all about reconciling us to Himself and then maintaining Presence with His children.
I will be with you in deep darkness, and I will comfort you, He says in Psalm 23. I will replace the emptiness that can be encountered even in the beautiful forest with My Presence, and I will walk with you in the darkness of the dangerous woods.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house (Presence) of the Lord forever ~ vv. 5-6
Even in the presence of our enemies, Jesus will comfort us with His Presence, His closeness, His love in the person of the Holy Spirit. His goodness and mercy will pursue us every day until we enter His Presence forever, until we see Him no longer by faith but by sight. Without a doubt, God the Father desires us to come to Him and experience His Presence as a strong, safe, holding Dad. Beware of making God so transcendent that He cannot condescend to you and sit with you in the dust of life (Isaiah 57:15).
So, don’t settle for anything that separates you from God’s love, peace, comfort, and joy. No, don’t settle. If you need to see a professional therapist or psychologist, go. Even then, you will want to find someone who sees psychological growth ultimately as the removing of everything that separates you from His Presence, from other people, and even from your own heart.
What are the application points in this post? First, if you don’t know Jesus and His Presence in your inner being, even the beauty of this world will be tempered by an underlying emptiness because you’re missing the reconciliation that ushers you into the company of the Most High Holy God who made you and everything else by love and for love.
Secondly, if you do know Jesus, remember that the experience of God’s Presence—His closeness, His comfort, that deep sense that He is real and always with you—is not a slam dunk as you daily walk through life. Presence is always opposed.
Satan hates closeness, intimacy, genuine love (as differentiated from tolerance), fellowship, church, marriage, families, friendship, and your relationship with God. He even hates good therapy that helps you learn how to love, stop hiding, and remove every false view of God. Satan campaigns day and night for distance, separation, divorce, aloneness, alienation, shame, hiding.
So, don’t by surprised by it. You will have to hunger for Presence (Him), fight for it, practice it, and remove all obstacles that get in the way of it. Remember: love, relationship, reconciliation, and intimacy do not come naturally in this fallen world. Presence goes against the grain. It is uphill, against the wind, upstream against the whitewater. It goes against darkness. It is the Light that leads to life. It is the person of Jesus Christ in us.
Let’s end this post with everything you need to know about Presence. Okay, probably not everything you need to know. But close.
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you ~ Philippians 4:4-9.
Do you see anything in this passage that suggests practicing God’s Presence? Like the word “practice” at the end of this passage? There we have it in neon lights, namely, the command to practice these things to know the amazing peace of God’s Presence.
What are the things we are called to practice? Rejoicing (worshipping), rejoicing again, praying, asking for what we need for our selves and for others, being thankful, and thinking about and rehearsing things that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and praiseworthy.
I believe all these words describe the person of Jesus Himself. In other words, we are commanded to practice thinking about the most true, just, lovely, praiseworthy Being in the universe as a means to experience His Presence. Meditate on who He is. Dwell on what He has done. Rehearse His character as revealed in the Word of God.
There’s one thing to never forget about practice. It will not make perfect in this fallen world, but it will make permanent. Psychology encourages us to practice breathing skills, the visualization of peaceful things, and releasing tight muscles so that we might know moments of physical and even cognitive relaxation.
Jesus calls us to practice His eternal Presence so we might know a peace that passes understanding and that will endure forever—physically, emotionally, cognitively, and spiritually. Yes, forever.
Spend this week in Philippians 4 practicing those things that will draw you close to the sovereign God who calls you friend. It is a lifetime journey, but practice does eventually make permanent. After years of practicing His Presence, the day will come when you can turn your mind and heart to Jesus and sense His love and peace immediately. For a lack of a better way of saying it, you will experience His Presence on demand.
Every relationship requires the practice of presence to both remember and love that person in your heart and mind. It is no different with the God who came for you and died for you.
So, seek, remember, rehearse, abide, and practice Presence. You will never have to settle for the emptiness of nature but will experience the intimacy of the Creator of the universe in your heart as the Holy Spirit lives within you.
Now set your mind and heart to seek the LORD your God ~ 1 Chronicles 22:19
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart ~ Jeremiah 29:11-13
