BP 123
Who are you, anyway? What is your true self? Where do you look to know your identity? There are many opinions out there in the world about who you are . . .
“It’s like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always. All the time. That story makes you what you are. We build ourselves out of that story” ~ Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind
“Every person’s true identity is beautiful, and much of the ugliness we observe in others was put inside of them by external influences” ~ Bryant McGill, Voice of Reason
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken” ~ Oscar Wilde
“One of the biggest surprises in this research was learning that fitting in and belonging are not the same thing. In fact, fitting in is one of the greatest barriers to belonging. Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be in order to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are” ~ Brene` Brown
“The question of ‘who I am’ is bigger than ‘who I am.’ Therefore, I think it far wiser to ask the Great I AM who I am” ~ Craig D. Lounsbrough
One of the greatest gifts Jesus gives us is robust, secure identities. This is such good news in a time of such fragile cultural identities.” ~ Jon Tyson
We are all living in a world that is so compelling to our physical senses. I’m not talking primarily about the natural beauty found during a wilderness hike, or in the amazing outer space that is chockfull with planets, stars, galaxies, and universes. No, I’m talking today about social media.
I recently read a research article that said that teenagers on average spend over nine hours a day on their phones with the majority of that spent on social media sites. Nine hours a day! When do they have time to do anything else?
Intentionally or unintentionally, teens go on social media to discover what seems to be normal in the worldwide cyberspace of their peers. They are bombarded at every turn with messages about the perfect body size, facial beauty, the correct fitness level or the best foods to eat or the ideal BMI, popularity, clothing choices, individual rights, and sexual practices (and even identity).
A particularly disturbing trend is that from the year 2005 when social networking basically was born until 2017, depression among teens increased 52%. 52%! I’m sure that depressing trend was not all due to social media, but it appears that much of it was.
Teens are so sensitive to fitting in and being like others that they quickly compare themselves to popular personalities on the internet that are often seen as standard bearers for human identity. If adolescents perceive that they fall short of that standard or are totally on the outside of it or are bullied for being outliers, they are susceptible to a sense of shame, unworthiness, and social isolation. Suicide can even be a tragic option.
Why are teens so entranced with social media? There are many factors. Let me mention one in this post. Whether they are aware of it or not, everyone is seeking to discover her or his identity. According to Erik Erikson, they are in that stage of social development he refers to as Identity vs. Confusion. They don’t know who they are but are actively looking everywhere to discover their true identity and how they fit into the world around them.
What is the problem with looking for your identity on social media?
You are looking to other humans to tell you who you are instead of the One who made you.
Here we encounter the great divide, namely, those who believe that God is the Creator of all things and the source of all truth and those who try to find truth apart from God. Many who rub shoulders with you every day are attempting to discover who they are apart from the One who designed and created them.
Some people will find their identity in being morally good and generous. Others will pursue pleasure as their life purpose. Others yet will attempt to find their identity in what they do or achieve. But none of them will turn to God for their sense of purpose in this world.
Anyone who lives apart from God (in active rebellion to God) will be left with relative, subjective truth as they attempt to define themselves whereas those who look to Jesus have a Creator who tells them who they are objectively and absolutely.
While living in this fallen world, the ‘natural’ pull is toward searching for an identity apart from the holy God. Merely existing is all about finding your true self inside yourself or in the opinion of other “lost ones” around you.
The problem with trying to find one’s ‘self’ apart from your Builder is that people are left to look to culture, others, subjective feelings, and even crystal balls to know who they are. Talk about looking for identity in all the wrong places. There is only one place you will find your self.
C.S. Lewis says, “The more we let God take us over, the more truly ourselves we become—because He made us. He invented us. He invented all the different people that you and I were intended to be … It is when I turn to Christ, when I give up myself to His personality, that I first begin to have a real personality of my own.”
The only way to have a self is to look to the One whose image you bear and ask Him who you are.
We were created to belong in a family—the family of God. But then we rebelled and sinned against God’s perfect created order by looking to find our pleasures, value, and personhood anywhere but in God. So, we were lost. We became orphans in a dark world and were isolated from our family. But Jesus came to adopt us back into His family so that we might be His true children.
“But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God” ~ John 1:12.
“In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will” ~ Ephesians 1:4
Most of us who love Jesus know that He is the source of our identity. We know that we only know ourselves when we see ourselves through His eyes. But we forget. When Peter was walking on the water, he took his eyes off Jesus and looked down at the waves and the wind. Only then did he begin to sink.
In a similar way, we must keep our eyes on Jesus as we walk through this world because the world will certainly attempt to tell you who you are these days. And the world will not see you as Jesus does because those who are of the world (“the natural man”) love darkness. They hate the light. Deep inside, they hate God.
So, teenager or young adult, or middle-aged man or woman, do not look to the world for your identity. Do not try to find your identity on social media. Run to Jesus who is the only mirror who reflects our identity accurately.
Having been adopted into Jesus’ family, the Spirit of God Himself dwells within you. You will never be alienated from Him again. If the Spirit of God dwells in you, then you belong to God. Your identity now is found in Christ and not yourself. You do not have to decide who you are based on feelings and guesswork. Sin is no longer the master over your life. That does not mean you won’t struggle. However, you will no longer be slaves to sin. Your identity now is “slaves to righteousness.”
1 Corinthians 3:23: “And you belong to Christ, and Christ belongs to God.”
Corinthians 6:17: “But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.”
Jeremiah 1:5: “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.”
1 Corinthians 8:3: “But whoever loves God is known by God.”
Long story short: Find Jesus and find you.
