BP 116
Love Something Less by Loving Something Else More
Occasionally, a single truth from psychology will be presented and developed in a blog post. Today’s truth is that you cannot give something up until you find something to take its place. This universal reality applies to addictions of any kind, to relationships, to nagging habits, and even to the thoughts your mind thinks.
Some examples of this axiom are: The best way to fight an addiction is to love something else more than the addicting agent. The healthiest avenue to walking away from an unhealthy relationship is to find a healthier relationship. The way to get rid of a bad habit is to discover and practice a new one. The only path to dealing with obsessive thoughts is to replace them with new, healthier thoughts. The way to experience freedom from anxiety is to be filled with peace, not by trying to not be anxious (please forgive the double negative).
Excitingly, the truth of this “replacement axiom”—if we can call it that–is rooted in the Christian faith. Old thoughts, habits, affections, and relationships will not go away by sheer effort. They must be replaced by something else, according to Scripture. Something new must take the place of old things before you can give up the old things.
The only way to give up the heart of stone is to replace it with a heart of flesh. The only way to not walk by sight is to walk by faith. The only not to be the same old selfish person is to become a new creation. The only way to not sin is to love Jesus more than your sin. The only option to overcoming the desires of the old man is to replace them with the desires of the new man, to put off the old self and put on the new self.
You can’t give something like sin up until you ask God to replace it with an affection for Him. You won’t be able to walk away from guilt, shame, and the condemnation that comes from sin and separation from God until you walk with Him in perfect holiness.
Exchanging the Lesser for the Greater
I suppose we could say that it all comes down to exchanging the bad for the good, not simply trying to get rid of the bad. In order to change or grow, something good must step in to replace the bad.
Here is where the Christian can rejoice! The whole premise of the Christian faith is that God sent His Son to defeat evil by replacing it with Himself. Yes, God calls us to choose Jesus as our master instead of money. He calls us to pursue the fruits of the Spirit instead of the evil passions of the flesh. He instructs you to defeat hate by loving your enemy. He calls you to overcome bitterness by forgiving others. He invites you to replace enslavement to sin with enslavement to Him. Something new and good from God must be embraced before we can give up the old desires.
Romans 1 presents the opposite of this positive exchange principle–the opposite of exchanging bad things for good things. Three times in this chapter, it says that the people exchanged good things for bad things. They exchanged the glory of God for idols. They exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped creatures instead of the Creator. They exchanged sexuality with opposite sex individuals for sexuality with same sex individuals.
It is true that the exchange can go either way, then–bad for good or good for bad. We can give up a good thing (like God, sobriety, love, forgiveness, walking in the Spirit, obedience) if we choose to practice bad things (idolatry, addictions, hate, bitterness, living in the flesh, disobedience) that take the place of the good things. Or, we can give up much lesser things (they might feel very good in the moment) as we increasingly develop a growing affection for the far better things (they will make us better people for this world and the next).
Desiring More Not Less
C.S. Lewis would say it this way: “It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased” ~ The Weight of Glory.
In other words, the only way to replace the pleasure of lesser, fleeting desires is to hunger for the higher joy of seeking and knowing God Himself, the most beautiful Being in the universe. It doesn’t get any better than knowing Him.
Colossians 3:1-2 puts it this way: “If then you have been raised with Christ [life replaces death], seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.”
Don’t settle for the mud pies that Lewis mentions. You will do just that if you don’t desire something higher, something more beautiful, something above this material world, Someone named Jesus.
An additional thought: As a Christian, you may very well settle for trying to be a better Christian and therefore (in your mind) more pleasing to God or you can simply spend time in His presence, learning of His grace, internalizing His mercy, experiencing His love. In other words, exchange your efforts to be good with a pursuit of His Presence and character.
Choose the Positive Replacement Axiom
So, what can you take away from this post? Live by the Positive Replacement Axiom: it is far better to replace the bad with the good, the lesser with the more, the mortal with the immortal, instead of the other way around. Pursuing sin is an example of the Negative Replacement Axiom (exchanging the good for the bad) while pursuing God is an example of the Positive Replacement Axiom (exchanging the bad for the good).
Jesus, unlike Allah, does not call you to be a better person by trying to sin less or by being good and moral. He tells you to believe in Him so that He can give you His righteousness and take away your unrighteousness—the greatest positive exchange in history. 2 Corinthian 5:21 says, “For our sake he made him [Jesus] to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”
The status of sin and the desire for sin can only be replaced when we cry out to Jesus to exchange our sin for His holiness and righteousness. Put off the robe of sin and by putting on the robe of Jesus Himself. You can’t give up the first without putting on the latter.
The goal of life, then, is not to make your goal being less sinful or less selfish or less lusting. Rather, the primary objective is to invite Jesus to indwell your heart more and more until light pushes out the darkness, affection for Jesus eclipses evil affections, and you practice His presence instead of practicing sin.
Desire the things of God more instead of trying not to desire the things of the flesh less. Desire more instead of desiring less.
In summary, you can’t give up the lesser, the bad, the unhealthy until you replace them with the higher, the good, the healthy. So, go on a quest for the better things in life, for the One who is the best thing in life. Learn to practice His presence more and everything less will lose its sparkle.