BP 221
Does Jesus want you to be perfect? Yes, he commands you to be perfect in Matthew 5:48.
Does Jesus want you to be a perfectionist? No (unless you’re an air traffic controller, maybe).
Do we as Jesus followers understand the difference between being perfect and being enslaved to perfectionism? Is perfectionism such a bad thing? Is there a difference between moral perfectionism and task perfectionism? Is the practice of perfectionism at the root of legalism and religion (human attempts to reach God).
Brene Brown writes, “Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.”
In other words, perfectionism is a mechanism to undo badness, fight off the voice of shame, and make oneself perfect as a way to exonerate oneself from not being good enough. Does perfectionism sound like the gospel of Jesus Christ?
I don’t think so. In fact, it sounds like the opposite of the Gospel. Ironically, the Good News tells us the worst news, namely, we are rebellious sinners separated from a holy, perfect God (Romans 3:23), and then tells us the best news, namely, that in Jesus our sins can be forgiven, that we will be made righteous or perfect (apart from our efforts) through His death and resurrection. Another word for being made perfect by Jesus is grace.
Ephesians 2:8-9 is very clear about how we become perfect: “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”
So, our perfectionism doesn’t produce “perfect.” We can’t manufacture it or attain it through our efforts but only by coming to Jesus with empty hands held out to receive from Him. Perfect comes through the blood of Jesus and requires a reconciling relationship with Him. Perfectionism comes through the efforts of men and women and functions apart from Jesus. While it might be possible to do certain tasks perfectly, moral perfection is impossible apart from God.
“For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit” ~ Romans 8:3-4.
The Good News, then, is that you can’t become perfect through your perfectionism, through obeying the law perfectly, through attempting to be righteous through what you do or what you don’t do. Only by trusting in Jesus can sin be washed away and righteousness deposited in your soul.
On the one hand, then, the burden has been removed from us because it is not up to us to make ourselves perfect. On the other hand, we must be willing to forsake our self-sufficiency and our own efforts to be good and instead trust God to make us perfect. Total surrender and total reliance on God are required–not always easy to do as seen in the behaviors of the Pharisees. They were willing to kill God Himself before they would give up pursuing “perfect” through their moral perfectionism attained via human traditions.
So, why does Jesus want us to be perfect beyond perfection being the only way we can approach God and be in His family?
Could one goal of being perfect actually be about loving others? See what Jesus says in Matthew 5:43-48.
43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48 You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
In this passage, Jesus sure appears to be linking perfect with loving both our neighbors as well as our enemies. Even the Father’s perfect is linked to loving those who are unjust. If we are going to be sons of our Father who is in heaven, we must love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us.
So, could being perfect be less about obsessing about obeying every law and commandment religiously to the point of exhaustion and more about loving others—even our enemies? Is being perfect more relational than rule-based?
Here is where another question arises: Is perfect or perfectionism relational? As we see in Matthew 5 above, being perfect is connected to loving both those who are good and the evil, both the unjust and the just.
But if we practice perfectionism, is that loving and relational? No.
What are perfectionists focused on? Others or themselves? Mainly themselves, making sure they perform perfectly. And when they do focus on others, it is not driven by unconditional love but about scrutinizing them to make sure they are doing things correctly, rightly, perfectly. Perfectionism is not about love but about rigid behavioral expectations and performance that a person pursues apart from God. Like the Pharisees.
So, stop pursuing perfectionism that bleeds over to others. No one will ever achieve perfect by their own performance. Perfect is given, not attained. Trust that Jesus says “done” and give up your “doing.” Strive to obey God, yes, but remember that you are not to obey to earn God’s favor and then boast about your good works but to love God first and then obedience will follow.
Perfect is about relying on Jesus to fill you with His holy loving nature so you can approach God and love others. Perfectionism is sin because it is you attempting to make yourself righteous in your own strength without depending on God.
Even being perfect is all about love. It’s about the relationship, not the rule following and the moralistic striving. So, don’t try to be good. Instead, love as He loved you. Yes, if you love Jesus, you will obey Him and thus not sin against Him. If you love others, you will increasingly love them as Jesus does and so you will not sin against them, either. Love covers a multitude of sins. Love prevents a multitude of sins. Love made perfect day by day is God’s power that makes us perfect.
Love is the antithesis of perfectionism. Perfectionism scrutinizes self, is focused on self, and strives to be good in human strength apart from God. Love gazes at Jesus. As we practice His presence, we are perfected by His Spirit and learn how to love God and love our neighbor as ourselves.
Those who look to Him are radiant!
Shun perfectionism and self-preoccupation degree by degree. Be perfected through love as you rehearse His countenance and His character, as you gaze upon the beauty of the Lord.
Look at Him!
“Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud;
be gracious to me and answer me!
You have said, ‘Seek my face.’
My heart says to you,
“Your face, Lord, do I seek” ~ Psalm 27:7-8
“If you love me, you will keep my commandments” ~ John 14:15
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us” ~ 1 John 4:18-19