BP131
At Christmas time, it is fitting to remember George Bailey’s words from the classic movie, It’s a Wonderful Life. As most of you may remember, George uttered this dark phrase when he was overwhelmed with fear after Uncle Billy misplaced $8,000 from the Bailey Building and Loan. Terrified at the prospect of going to jail after the evil Mr. Potter reported George to the authorities, George ran to the bridge and prepared to end his life by jumping into the icy waters of the river.
At just the right time, Clarence the wimpy angel (clearly not of the same caliber as Michael in the Bible) showed up after George’s wife and kids prayed for his protection. Clarence heard George say that he wished he had never been born. Seeing a learning opportunity for the distraught man, the angel granted George’s prayer request to never have been born.
Over the next hour or so, George left the bridge and returned to Pottersville (the town that had formerly been called Bedford Falls) where he soon discovered that his absence from the world severely impacted the lives of his brother, Harry, his mother, his wife, and other miscellaneous friends like Mr. Gower, Mr. Martini, Bert, and Ernie. Also, his four children were never born because he did not exist to father offspring. Eventually, he learned a valuable lesson, namely, that the love of others is far more important than money.
Was there ever a season in your life when you wished you had never been born? Or do you know someone who has uttered those words? Several people in the Bible spoke those words when they were suffering or in deep discouragement. Job agonized, “Why did you bring me out of the womb? Would that I had died before any eye had seen me” (10:19).
Jeremiah also cried out: “Cursed by the day on which I was born! The day when my mother bore me, let it not be blessed! Cursed be the man who brought the news to my father, ‘A son is born to you,’ making him very glad. . . Why did I come out from the womb to see toil and sorrow, and spend my days in shame?” (20:14-15, 18).
So, George Bailey, Job, and Jeremiah all wished they had never been born. Others have actually ended their lives because they chose to no longer live on this planet. How sad! How tragic for life to end with self-inflicted death!
What is God’s response to these death wishes?
First, God did not remain distant and uncaring. He sent His Son so that He might die for us and save us from our sins, yes. But He also sent Jesus that we might be able to say, “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” ~ Romans 8:38-39.
Jesus came so that we might be able to say with confidence, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me” ~ Psalm 23:4.
Second, how did George, Job, and Jeremiah recover from their death wishes? By the Presence of God (and others). If we are alone in our deepest trials and fears as George Bailey was for a few hours, we will be overwhelmed and filled with despair. We may even ultimately want to die.
But God did not make us to do life alone. He created us to be loved, comforted, encouraged, and emotionally held during our deepest suffering. What you cannot suffer alone, you can endure when God is with you and when you allow others to weep with you.
A question for Christians who happen to be therapists and psychologists is, “Are you willing to be close to your clients and patients—close enough to love them and enter into their deepest pain, despair, and rage?” Yes, there is obviously the need for boundaries and separateness, but are you a therapist who hides behind the concept of therapeutic distance and never allows yourself to suffer with those who suffer, to enter into their emotional space? The people you sit with need to know that you are present for them in their darkest chaos and messiest emotions, even if they are directed at you.
At this Christmas time, if you are weeping, suffering, or wishing you had never been born, know that Jesus was born to come for you. He came so that you could cry out to Him in your anguish.
This world will always be about loss, grief, sorrow, and suffering. Plan on it. But you do not have to be alone in the darkness. Jesus came to remove every obstacle between you and the Father so that you could experience the comforting Presence of your Maker even in the most hellish moments.
Life is not about avoiding pain and seeking comfort. Life is about living in this broken world with others—loving them and allowing them to love you.
Join George Bailey, Job, and Jeremiah in your weeping and cry out to the Father. He may not show up immediately in the way you would want, but He will come for you in the way He knows best! Defy the words of Mr. Potter and Satan who say, “You are worth more dead then alive,” and run toward your Immanuel who says, “My heart yearns for [my darling child”].
“For thus says the One who is high and lifted up, who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: ‘I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the heart of the contrite” ~ Isaiah 57:15
“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep” ~ Romans 12:15