BP 232
My first thought concerning today’s question is that Christians can never feel too guilty about their wrongdoing because sin is an act of disobedience against the perfectly holy God. I think this statement is fully true. Christians will certainly and healthily feel guilty if they sin against God.
But I also believe that some Christians experience complicated guilt that leads them to feel shame and conviction in a manner not intended by the holy God. Below are some thoughts related to too much guilt.
As Designer Therapy for Life has discussed in other posts, we can make a distinction between true guilt/shame and false guilt/shame. In 2 Corinthians 7:8-10 Paul alludes to true, godly guilt that God designs us to experience as a motivator to turn toward Him when we sin:
“For even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it—though I did regret it, for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for a while. As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.”
Although the word “guilt” is not specifically mentioned in this passage, godly grief certainly sounds related to a godly awareness of shame or badness or conviction that leads to repentance without regret. So, godly grief (or guilt) is a good thing designed by God to make us aware of our sins and then to be prompted to confess our sins because “He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” ~ I John 1:9.
So, if there is a godly grief or guilt, is there an ungodly grief or guilt or shame that “produces death?” Is there a conviction or awareness of badness Christians experience that is not from God? I believe the answer is yes. Many believers are crushed by lingering guilt or shame or an awareness of badness even long after they have taken their sins to God and confessed them. They might even experience a deep sense of condemnation and lingering accusation days or weeks after they have asked God for forgiveness.
Romans 8:1-2 says, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.” In light of this freedom from condemnation for those who are “in Christ Jesus,” why do some Christians often (or all Christians at some time or another) experience ongoing guilt, shame, conviction, condemnation, and a deep sense of badness even after experiencing godly grief/sorrow and asking God for forgiveness?
Could this lingering guilt be from God? Possibly, I suppose, if the individual is not truly sorry or repentant or is still clinging to their sin, planning on repeating it again as soon as he or she has the opportunity to do so. But could there be another explanation?
Are some Christians prone to feel more guilty than others while some are apt to feel less conviction than their fellow brothers and sisters? I certainly believe these situations are possible either due to an innate personality that was always more sensitive to displeasing others or due to the environment they grew up in that may have been quick to shine the burning light of angry condemnation onto them when they sinned or when they did something accidentally that was wrong or even when they made an angry face or disagreed with the parent. They may have had parents who were hypersensitive to being disobeyed or disrespected and were quick to “wield” Ephesians 6:1 against their children.
Yes, innate personality or a harsher environment that was quick to point out sin and to do it with anger or even a spirit of accusation can cause some believers to experience deeper guilt and conviction than others.
But is there a problem if some Christians feel guilt more quickly and for longer periods of time? Could it be a good thing if guilt is quick and deep and long? Will not these individuals depend on God’s grace more deeply because they feel so bad about their sin? Yes, possibly.
For some believers, however, their lingering sense of badness may lead them to view God as angry, slow to forgive, and not so much a divine Being of steadfast love but steadfast wrath. They may associate God as rubbing their faces in their sin instead of desiring to quickly cleanse them from all unrighteousness. They may even believe that God is condemning them instead of forgiving them. In the worst-case scenario, these believers may deconstruct their faith because the angry, forgiving God is not very appealing to them.
So much for the truth of Hebrews 4:18: “with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
What is the message these guilt-prone individuals need to hear? Do they need to minimize sin or minimize the holiness of God and see Him as being only a God of love and grace and mercy and kindness without any justice?
I believe part of the correct answer is to be aware of these four things: 1) Satan’s accusations that are designed to make you feel condemned and to kill you (see John 10:10); 2) the landscape of your childhood that may have been dominated by a church or parent (or probably both) that was heavy on condemning sin and light on accentuating God’s amazing grace even in the light of your sin; 3) your personality that may have always been very sensitive to doing something wrong or displeasing someone else or that hated being the target of someone’s wrath/anger; 4) through the reading of scripture and increasingly experiencing God’s character, learn that God is all holy and all just and all grace and all mercy and all loving. Know all of His character.
I will conclude with one truth related to point four above: You were born into a war between light and darkness, between godly grief and devilish condemnation, between Satan who desires to accuse you day and night of badness and a holy, loving God who sent His Son to the pay the price for your sin and make you good, perfect, holy, righteous.
Know His character. Know not to equate Him with any parent, especially parents heavy on shame and badness. Know that He is not who Satan tells you He is. Know that He is the amazing God of John 3:16ff (where the loving God did need to come to save us from our sin) and also the God of Isaiah 57:15 (where He is described as almightily holy but yet condescended to be with us who are sorry for our sin and lowly in our character)!
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.”
“For thus says the One who is high and lifted up,
who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy:
‘I dwell in the high and holy place,
and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit,
to revive the spirit of the lowly,
and to revive the heart of the contrite.’”
