Why Doesn’t Jesus Give You What You Want?

BP 222

Quoting someone else, a pastor once said something like, “God is often not as interested in what He can do for you as what He wants to do in you.”

This statement may not appear that significant until we dig into it. But even before we take a closer look at it, let me reword the statement as I interpret it using a bit of amplification that will ruin the brevity of the original statement but hopefully clarify it a bit.

A tree with leaves falling from it

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My wording would be: God loves us so much and sees us so wisely from the long view of eternity that He will not always give us what we ask for in the short term for our fleeting comfort and happiness but will give us what He knows will be best for us in the long term to grow our souls in faith for the marathon (not a sprint) ahead and to give us the most joy both now and eternally.

Isn’t it true that even healthy, loving human parents do not always give their children what they want? Parents know that their children will be happy and even pleased with them if they give their children whatever they want in the moment. Maybe we even live in a culture that embraces the practice of “gentle” parenting. But mature parents know that saying yes to their children in the short term to satisfy their immediate gratification will teach their children that they will get whatever they desire even if it kills them—figuratively and maybe also literally. (Here we see the inception of the “vending machine” view of God.)

Never saying no to children sets them up for a lifetime expectation of immediate gratification. They will become demanding, entitled, undisciplined, narcissistic, focused on the pleasure of the short term, and maybe even obese, addicted, defiant to authority, and unable to say no to themselves as adults.

So, I suppose we could say that part of the meaning of the statement we are focusing on today centers around delay of gratification which is a type of suffering. Every time we say no to something we hanker for from indulgent food to watching late-night movies to pornography to buying things to make us feel better to emotional deregulation, we create space to respond in a healthy way. Saying no to unhealthy and even sinful things opens up the option to saying yes to what is healthy, godly, and far better for us in the long term and that will bring us inexpressible joy.

God and earthly parents certainly want to teach their children to delay gratification by saying no to lesser things in the moment so they will have the option of receiving better, greater things in the future—whether that future is five minutes or five years away.

What have we mentioned here at DTFL in past blogs (it may originate with Henry Cloud and John Townsend)? Do you remember the truth that life is always going to be hard? Applying it to this post, we can say that you can choose to have life easy now by saying yes to everything you want and postponing the hard consequences to the future, or you can choose to say no now to what you desire that is unhealthy or lesser and so have it hard now but then easier in the future because you received much better things by waiting.

Okay, let’s go back to that statement we started with in this post: God loves us so much and sees us so wisely from the long view of eternity that He will not always give us what we ask for in the short term for our fleeting comfort and happiness but will give us what He knows will be best for us in the long term to grow our souls in faith for the marathon (not a sprint) ahead and to give us the most joy both now and eternally.

So far, we have seen that, at a minimum, this phase could be applied to the suffering of saying no to something lesser or even sinful now so that in the future we can say yes to something better. Now, let’s apply some scripture to this statement.

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1 Peter 1:6ff says in light of our hope of future salvation, In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.”

In this biblical passage, we see that as sons and daughters of the heavenly Father, we will experience various trials. Apparently, God is indeed not always going to spare us from suffering but will bring that which he deems best for us. Suffering can be a good thing if it is administered out of love, wisdom, and sovereign direction that wants to give children what is best for them.

I have had long seasons of life when I suffered in ways that I initially thought Christians would be protected from by a good God. During these times, I felt that God was far away, that He wasn’t hearing my prayers, and that He wasn’t trustworthy because are not good parents supposed to protect their children from suffering. Are they not supposed to answer prayers that deliver them from pain?

But during these seasons of suffering and also in the wake of them, I came to see that I could rejoice even when grieved by various trials because God was through the fire (as a result of the fire) growing in me a faith that would bring praise and glory and honor to Him. That same growing faith also helped and continues to help me “see” the invisible God and grow in my love for Him. That faith also enables my belief in Him to grow to deeper and deeper levels that brings joy inexpressible that is filled with glory. Also, that faith that grows through suffering will bring me into His presence one day to see Him face to face.

Deeper faith and all of its accompaniments comes through various trials.

So, believer, know that the sovereign God who can do whatever He pleases is also good, loving, and kind. He will not withhold amazing, good, and joyful things from you even if the acquisition of them will cause you some pain and suffering. He sees you through the lens of eternity while we so often are limited to the lens of here and now. He sees better and more than we do.

Take time to reread the account of Joseph in the book of Genesis. It is an amazing example of God working His will and bringing joy to His people even through various trials. Scripture repeatedly speaks the theme that God is most interested in what He can do in us for His glory, for the love of others, and for our joy. And maybe, in God’s economy, doing something in us is synonymous with doing something for us even when we, His children, cannot see that truth and might even rebel against it.

I will close with these words from Alan Redpath: “There is nothing—no circumstance, no trouble, no testing—that can ever touch me until, first of all, it has gone past God and past Christ, right through to me. If it has come that far, it has come with a great purpose, which I may not understand at the moment. But as I refuse to become panicky, as I lift up my eyes to Him and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great purpose of blessing to my own heart, no sorrow will ever disturb me, no trial will ever disarm me, no circumstance will cause me to fret, for I shall rest in the joy of what my Lord is. That is the rest of victory.”

“For we walk by faith not by sight” ~ 2 Corinthians 5:7

A group of people standing on a mountain with their hands up

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