BP 198
“The sensitivity of men to small matters, and their indifference to great ones, indicates a strange inversion” ~ Blaise Pascal
“He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” ~ Micah 6:8
Today’s blog is a word to men and their wives, sisters, friends, and mothers. Men need to learn how to be men. They come out of the womb biologically male but then begins the journey of becoming men on the inside—spiritually and emotionally and relationally. We are not living in a world today that is proud of strong men or even wishes to cultivate such a thing. So, you must intentionally fight to be a man.
Sometimes, women who love Jesus can even inhibit the development of a man. Heaven forbid!
Just so you men know, being a man does not mean you must go out and drive an arrow through a deer’s heart or climb a Fourteener or hike the Appalachian Trail or jump out of an airplane. For some, it might. For others, being a man is a matter not so much of doing wild things but developing a heart attitude of courage, leadership, and servanthood.
The journey to manhood is not a slam dunk, but arduous and opposed. Some initial thoughts . . .
Men of the world who do not honor God have “freedom” to act out of their desires—to be wild and reckless with the hearts of others. Some people perceive this wildness as admirable! These “men” are a river without banks, as it were, flowing where they wish with no boundaries. They do not say “no” to themselves unless they fear reaping some undesirable consequence to themselves. They do not deal with the fear of extinguishing themselves. They experience something far worse, namely, the tragedy of never being alive in the first place because a man can never know himself, his true identity, apart from His Heavenly Father.
You see, it is all about knowing who you are in God’s presence. Don’t ever forget that truth, men. No one knows who they are separate from God.
Unlike men who do not know their Heavenly Father, we who are men of God are obedient to Jesus, and thus we have riverbanks. We are driven by a responsibility to obey God out of love and to be like Jesus. We are called to crucify the flesh. We attempt to limit ourselves every day so that we do not sin against Him or other men and women. We fight against lust, greed, power, idolatry, and using people. Above all, positively, we seek to become who we were created to be.
But is it possible that we sometimes crucify more in us than we should? Do we kill things in us that are part of who God made us to be?
Have we men of God become nice instead of loving, tame instead of dangerous, weak instead of strong, passive instead of proactive, followers instead of leaders, peacekeepers instead of warriors, castrated boys instead of men with fire in our loins? Are we ruled by fear instead of courage? Are we disqualified by the shaming voice of our fathers, by an accusing Satan who hates the Imago Dei, by an androgenous world that despises strong men, even by our own harsh consciences, or are we running the race boldly for Jesus? Have we equated saying no to the desires of the flesh with making ourselves tame? Are we becoming men or something we were never meant to be, like timid mice?
Are you becoming a man?
What keeps men from becoming men? Abusive, absent, or passive fathers? Overprotective mothers who need sons to be surrogate husbands or fathers to minimize their anxiety and take care of them? Families that need children to remain imprisoned emotionally and physically between narrow lines? Family shame? A terrible fear of hurting others by not being nice? A fear of others being angry with us?
The call to men is to be dangerous in a loving and godly way without narcissism or abuse of power.
Have any of you read or watched The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey? Do you remember how Gandalf volunteered the Hobbit, Bilboa, to be the fourteenth member of the band of warriors to go and reclaim the Dwarf Kingdom from the terrible dragon, Smaug? Bilbo refused the journey initially because he wanted to be comfortable and safe in his familiar little world.
Gandalf persisted. He called Bilboa out to go on a great adventure. He called out his manhood.
There are many challenging lines for men in this movie, especially in the early scene in Bilboa’s Shire home:
The wild is no place for gentle folk.
He has a great deal more to offer than any of you know—including himself (spoken from Gandalf to Bilboa).
You’ve been sitting quietly for far too long. When did doilies and your mother’s dishes become so important to you?
The world is not in your books and maps. It’s out there.
Speaking of simple, unassuming men who are warriors, Thorin says, When I called upon them, they answered. Loyalty, honor, a willing heart–I can ask no more than that.
Men, what are some adventures you have been called to in the past, now, or will be called to in the future? Make a list. Is there anything that prevents you from being Bilboa and going on the adventures God is calling you to?
The motivational speaker, Zig Ziglar, once said, “Little men with little minds and little imaginations go through life in little ruts, smugly resisting all changes which would jar their little worlds.”
Never “settle for little,” men of God.
David Livingstone, the heroic physician, explorer, and missionary to Africa said, “If you have men who will only come if they know there is a good road, I don’t want them. I want men who will come if there is no road at all.”
Are you, O man, settling for a little world with eight-lane freeways? Perish that settling! You only live one life, so don’t choose comfort, safety, mundanity and clear paths. Choose God’s adventure for your life. Listen for His voice. Seek out His voice. Remember well the story of Samuel in the Old Testament and God’s call to an amazing adventure!
“3 The boy Samuel served the Lord under Eli. In those days the Lord did not speak directly to people very often; there were very few visions.2 Eli’s eyes were so weak he was almost blind. One night he was lying in bed. 3 Samuel was also in bed in the Lord’s house, where the Ark of the Agreement was. God’s lamp was still burning.
4 Then the Lord called Samuel, and Samuel answered, “I am here!” 5 He ran to Eli and said, “I am here. You called me.” But Eli said, “I didn’t call you. Go back to bed.” So Samuel went back to bed. 6 The Lord called again, “Samuel!” Samuel again went to Eli and said, “I am here. You called me.” Again Eli said, “I didn’t call you. Go back to bed.”
7 Samuel did not yet know the Lord, and the Lord had not spoken directly to him yet.
8 The Lord called Samuel for the third time. Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, “I am here. You called me.” Then Eli realized the Lord was calling the boy. 9 So he told Samuel, “Go to bed. If he calls you again, say, ‘Speak, Lord. I am your servant and I am listening.’” So Samuel went and lay down in bed.
10 The Lord came and stood there and called as he had before, “Samuel, Samuel!” Samuel said, “Speak, Lord. I am your servant and I am listening.”
All you must do is read the books of first and second Samuel to see the great adventure God was calling a listening Samuel to commence.
Are you seeking for the voice of God? Do you have spiritual mentors who challenge you and speak into your heart, who you respond to with humble teachability? Are you saying to God, “Speak, Lord. I am your servant and I am listening?” Years may pass before you hear God’s call to the biggest adventure in your life. In the meantime, be faithful in the lesser adventures that are preparing you for the bigger ones.
In another sense, the day you say to God, “Here am I, send me,” you begin the great adventure. After all, obedience to God is first a heart attitude. Later, it becomes an adventure.
Speaking of adventures, make God’s call to Joshua a map for your life.
”1 After the death of Moses the servant of the Lord, the Lord said to Joshua the son of Nun, Moses’ assistant, 2 “Moses my servant is dead. Now therefore arise, go over this Jordan, you and all this people, into the land that I am giving to them, to the people of Israel. 3 Every place that the sole of your foot will tread upon I have given to you, just as I promised to Moses. 4 From the wilderness and this Lebanon as far as the great river, the river Euphrates, all the land of the Hittites to the Great Sea toward the going down of the sun shall be your territory. 5 No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life. Just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you or forsake you. 6 Be strong and courageous, for you shall cause this people to inherit the land that I swore to their fathers to give them. 7 Only be strong and very courageous, being careful to do according to all the law that Moses my servant commanded you. Do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may have good success[a] wherever you go. 8 This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
What can you learn from God’s clarion call to Joshua? This man of God who was possibly questioning his readiness to lead God’s people was called out by God just as Samuel was. God told Joshua to step up and lead His people, not to be passive and remain in a little, safe world. He told him to be strong and courageous because Joshua probably wasn’t feeling strong and courageous. He told him to cross the Jordan River—a symbolic act of obeying God and beginning his great adventure—and march into the Promised Land where he would have to fight giants and hoards of people who hated God and everything that was holy.
You men who love Jesus, hear God’s voice. Get up and get out of your little, comfortable world. Lift up your eyes to the mountains of God’s will. Don’t settle for building your own little kingdom but build God’s kingdom. Cross the Jordan. Run the race of Hebrews 12 just as Jesus did. Jesus ran that race for the joy that lay before Him. Are you seeking to run the race fueled by the joy of Jesus’ presence?
An older preacher I know told men to “just be nice.” I disagree. Men, don’t be nice. Don’t be boys who seek to please everyone and fear hurting or offending others so much that you will never speak truth that needs to be heard. Don’t be passive, sweet, narcissistic, and nice. Be kind, yes. Be gentle, yes. Be loving, yes. Be sacrificial, yes. Just don’t be nice. Nice people don’t always mean what they say, and they don’t say what they mean. Be strong, not nice.
As many have said over the years, “Those who please all men at all times ought deservedly to look on themselves with suspicion.”
Jesus was not nice. He was love. Love speaks the truth and calls people out—even if it hurts them. Always remember the difference between hurt and harm. People who love you will hurt you, by accident or by design to grow you. Don’t trust people who willingly harm you to demean or dismiss you.
Jeremy Taylor said, “Conscience in most men is but the anticipation of the opinions of others.”
Don’t live for the opinions of others. Live like Samuel and Joshua who listened to the voice of the living God. Say to God, “Speak, Lord. I am your servant and I am listening.”
Just to be clear, men, the opposite of being nice is not being selfish, mean, unteachable, Neanderthal, or uncouth. The opposite of nice is being honest about what you know to be true, to speak the truth in love, to be a servant to others.
“The measure of a men’s greatness is not the number of servants he has, but the number of people he serves” ~ John Hagee
So, men, be loving servants who, like Joshua, will lead your friends, wives, children, churches, and unbelieving neighbors toward the Promised Land. See beyond the fleeting pleasures of this world. Don’t make it your goal to make a lot of money or collect toys or simply to have a good time in this world until you die. Walk by faith and not by sight. Be someone who lives your life from the eternal perspective. Look up and see beyond this world!
At the other extreme, don’t be so fanatical, legalistic, judgmental, or severe that you are not a fragrance to the world but rather an undesirable aroma. Don’t harp on dos and don’ts. Don’t beat people over the head about their sin. Teach the tragic sinfulness of all humans but dwell mostly on God’s love, mercy, and amazing grace. Focus on Him. Draw people to Jesus, don’t drive them away with dry intellectualism, a somber face, and angry denouncements.
Live out the character of Jesus as seen in 1 Corinthians 13:4ff: “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.”
Yes, practice the love of Jesus until the world sees Him in you and is amazed and curious and drawn to you.
Men, seek God. Listen for His voice. Surrender to His will. Purse what will matter for eternity. Learn the adventures he has for you.
What might these adventures be? They are many and varied. You will need to discern individually what God is calling you to. DTFL suggests you focus on the first seven ‘Ms’, namely, Master, Maturity, Mates (friends in “Down Under” language), Mate, Mission, Munchkins, Masculinity of mind and heart that loves serving King and kin.
“Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter” ~ Francis Chan
Some specific examples of adventures might be going on a mission trip that will radically change your perspective on your little life, stepping out of your comfort zone and leaving your safe job (be wise) for what God really wants you to do, selling your house in the suburbs to move near to a college and open your home to a student Bible study, going to your state capital to speak to subcommittees about what is honoring to God and people, adopting a child, moving toward your distant wife and fighting for your marriage, looking inside your own heart first instead of blaming others, becoming an elder at your church, spending less money on toys and giving it to a church in Guatemala, developing a nonprofit that will serve the disadvantaged, choosing to come out of your comfort zone and developing a relationship with a woman in your church who could become your wife, moving to a country whose name you cannot pronounce to interpret the Bible in their language.
Some of us may even have to die.
Just remember, all you need to do is ask God to speak to you and put yourself in situations where you might hear His voice. Don’t be passive about seeking God. Pursue Him. Choose not to be famous in the kingdom of men but in the kingdom of God.
And get the order of things right. The first two ‘Ms’ are Master and Maturity. Be sure you are indeed serving the Master and not your own desires and be sure Maturity in Christ is priority number one (thus the importance of mentors to give you reliable feedback). Then you will be able to trust your decisions.
Like Bilboa, you may initially refuse God’s adventure. (Remember, the adventure may not be so much a specific event but a mindset to serve Him in every way with a heart hungry for what will matter for the kingdom of God.) You may fear letting go of your control. I get it. I’ve been there. I will pray that you will grow increasingly in your trust in God so that you can say, “Speak, Lord. I am your servant and I am listening.”
If you bow in obedience to God’s will and seek His kingdom first, soon others around you will hear what the residents of the Shire heard when Bilboa came dashing pell-mell over the dirt paths and over the hillsides to meet his calling: “I can’t stop. I’m already late. I’m going on an adventure!”
“And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. -Joshua 24:15
Psalm 27
“1The LORD is my light and my salvation;
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life;
of whom shall I be afraid?
3Though an army encamp against me,
my heart shall not fear;
though war arise against me,
yet I will be confident.
4One thing have I asked of the LORD,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to inquire in his temple.
5For he will hide me in his shelter
in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;
he will lift me high upon a rock.”
for Samuel Valor, called to be courageous, son of the King of kings
Zephaniah 3:17